My gap year is an emotional roller coaster. Some days I’ll wake up with a long list of things to do and I won’t feel accomplished until they are complete. Other days I’ll feel accomplished if I just wake up before noon. I was under the impression that my gap year would be a stress-free time in my life. However, I like the feeling of a fire beneath me.
So, a gap year full of leisure doesn’t suit me. I’ve had so many jobs and internships. I loved some and loathed the others. I quit jobs where I was just too unhappy to continue. I am grateful to have the financial ability to quit jobs when I am unfulfilled and seeking more from myself or my employers.
Even though my gap year isn’t exactly “backpacking through Europe”, it is a chance for me to explore the workforce, explore different legal fields of interest, explore my talents, give time to my hobbies and turn my interests into activities. (I will write a separate blog about how to enhance your law school applications with gap year activities)
I wasn’t ready to attend law school last year and even if I thought I was, my LSAT score said otherwise. Taking a gap year wasn’t exactly my choice. I had an LSAT score that would require a miracle to get into even the lowest ranked schools in California, a 5-page-long personal statement that was slowly turning into an autobiography that detailed just-about every second of my life, and no professional or volunteer experience to compensate for the former.
Even if I had applied and the stars had aligned for me to be accepted, I believe I would have regretted not taking a gap year. I was nowhere near mentally prepared to take on the burden that is law school. That is not to say that I am totally prepared now. But I have experienced substantial emotional growth over the past 7 months. Even though I still seesaw between being overwhelmed and unreasonably lazy and I still cry from frustration from time to time, I’m learning to let my emotions out whether it is anger, sadness, jealousy, pride, or love (especially). In my experience, emotional growth is becoming in tune with my emotions rather than drowning them out. Also, if I had decided to attend a law school that accepted me and my low score, I would have settled for less when I am capable of achieving the high standards I set for myself.
Kayla Phillips ♥